I have just stumbled across a recent survey as to what makes someone a good friend. Apparently 2000 people think a good friend is someone who doesn’t sleep with your partner and who isn’t “too tight”.
I mean, yeah, a mate who doesn’t sleep with my boyfriend or who doesn’t make me pay for everything is a very nice person but surely friendship goes deeper than that?
At the grand old age of 25 I have a small selection of best friends. It’s funny because looking back over the years, when I was in my early teens, all I wanted was hundreds of friends. Friends who I liked to party with or go to the park and drink a bottle of rum. *malibu* But now in my mid-twenties, my friends are a small bunch of boys and girls, who I call my chosen adult family. They’re the people who I can tell my deepest and darkest secrets to and who I can sit next to in silence and the atmosphere would never feel awkward.
There are so many elements as to what makes a good friend but I think for me the moment I realised who my real friends were was when I was going through one of the toughest times of my life. After my abusive relationship, I suffered with depression for years and I had no idea. If I wasn’t struggling to get out of bed in the morning, I was randomly breaking out into tears. If that doesn’t make me sound fun, my social skills weren’t any better either. I was often miserable, rude and quite frankly, someone who many people chose to not be around. Except my friends. They did stick around. They rode the depressive wave with me, regardless of whether I was up or down. I’m sure it must have been hard and tedious for them at times, but they didn’t abandon me. They stood by me.
I wanted to write this blog as an appreciation to my best friends because they have so many qualities that I feel it would be a shame to not brag about them. So, I decided to write a list of all the qualities they have. And here they are:
A good friend will never accuse you of being an attention seeker or tell you things that make you feel tiny when you were exploring all the crevices of who you could potentially be.
A friend let’s you try things out and doesn’t judge you. Good friends understand that people change and they never hold that against to the person they think you are. Regardless of what you’re doing or where you’re going – they lift you up!
A real friend is someone who you can be weird with and both of you find it completely normal.
They put up with your shit and love you just the same. They take your late night drunken call at 2am and listen.
Real friends tell you exactly what you need to hear, even when you don’t want to hear it.
A true friend supports you day in and day out, no matter what you decide to do. And most importantly, a real friend doesn’t let you down.
A good friend is just as interested as spending a day curled up on your sofa watching Netflix, as they are getting their glad rags on and getting some cocktails.
They think the best of you even when people think the worst. Your real friend would stand by you even if you were arrested for killing someone. They would fight your corner to the bitter end because they believe it wasn’t your fault.
A good friend will be by your side when you break up with your partner. They don’t preach, they just sit and listen and hold your hand whilst you cry.
A real friend will allow you to mess up time and time again. Even if you’ve lost your house keys, forgotten your lunch date, were two hours late for a party or talked about your ex the whole evening. They give you leeway but also know when it’s time to tell you to stop being a mess, because they know it’s better to be honest with you, than go off to their other friends and say how annoying you are.
A good friend will let you confide about your bowel movements or your body’s weird and wonderful functions, and never ever judge you, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation gets.
A real friend will disagree with you and maybe occasionally argue, but they will still remain friends with you.
A truly good friend will always support you, no matter what. Whether that’s promoting your work, or sending you a funny card because it made them think of you. Or whether it’s helping you to move house or when you’re going through a time when you’re not being very loveable. Regardless of the situation they stick by you. Even in sad, fun and boring times, they’ll always be there with you, every step of the way, enjoying every moment you have together.