Quarter Life Crisis: Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman.

On January 10th, I will be turning 25.

Twenty-fucking-five!

A quarter of a century old.

I never thought a number could repulse me so much!

Yes, yes, of course I know 25 is still young and that I have youth on my side (just about), but according to society, I’m no longer that young to get away with all the things I’ve been doing for the last 24 years.

Apparently it is not “adult” of me to walk around Waitrose with my mum and place my necessities in the shopping trolley without her noticing. Gin is a necessity – I won’t hear otherwise! And can you believe that getting blind drunk and dancing on table tops, whilst flashing my knickers to anyone who so happens to be standing crotch-level below me, is not how adults behave?!

This upsets me greatly.

Turning 25 is really scary because I’m apparently, an official grown-up.

It only feels like yesterday I was at university, having lots of fun, with no responsibilities or a care in the world.

Reaching 25, is like a slap in the face. Its like I’ve just woken up from a long dream and now I’m facing my reality.

It freaks me out that I am now of an age where a lot of my friends are already, or are beginning to raise children. Then there’s little (now old) me – struggling to raise myself out of bed most mornings!

Of course, there is no right or wrong answer as to how you should live your twenties, but there is an under-lying pressure from society that is hard to ignore. An unwritten rule that when you reach mid-twenties you should have your shit together.

There really isn’t any wonder as to why most of us twenty-somethings are insecure, depressed and frustrated when faced with these rules.

We are living against a standard that was raised by our parents generation, who (and I’m prepared to argue), did have it easier than us.

For example….

Our parents generation: mortgages were cheap, jobs paid well and once they had met “the one” from their hometown, they would get married ASAP.

Our generation: mortgages are nowhere to be seen, finding a job that pays well is scarce and with the likes of Tinder and quick-divorce services, people don’t feel the need to settle down.

And here we all are. Mid-twenties, not a clue what we’re doing. Just winging it. Hoping that one day all our dreams will come true and we can go back to being the big kids that we truly are!

As most of you will know; I can’t stand living by rules.  Especially rules made by a bunch of Keeping Up With The Jones’ type of people.

So as I reach 25, this is exactly what I’m going to be telling myself during my quarter-life crisis:

I’m not ready to be a serious adult yet. Call me the female Peter Pan but I am still young enough to run away from certain worries and I still have plenty of mistakes left to make. If that makes my Aunt Betty shake with fear, then she can go away. (Please note: I don’t have an Aunty Betty).

Being pressured by society rules is ridiculous. So what if you don’t own a house, have a child or run your own business?

We have plenty of years left to stress about all of those responsibilities in our thirties. For now, it’s all about having fun, learning and making memories.

I’m calling out to all of those reaching mid-twenties to not stress if you are not in the place you thought you’d be. Instead; go out and party until your feet hurt, quit the job you hate, go travelling, spend time with your loved ones – do the things you want to do.

Time is still on our side !!

As of Sunday, I’ll officially be as old as an old vintage wine, but in my heart and head, I’m still the Echo Falls wine that I love to drink!

Quarter life crisis – I’ll see you when I get to my Mid-life crisis. At least then we can maybe cry about it in a Porsche together, with my toy boy whilst admiring my dyed blonde hair. Maybe?!?

7 thoughts

  1. I’m 29 (eek!!!) and I’m still trying to figure it out! 🙃 I don’t have human kids because I have a lot of fur-kids and I love to foster abandoned animals that are looking for a “forever home”. Maybe this is my mission in life and I’m trying to understand that this is ok! Scary, but ok! Luckily I have an amazing man in my life and a wonderfully supportive mother.

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  2. I’m turning 25 on the 28th and have been absolutely freaking out. This is just what I needed to read! Comforting to know that someone else is feeling the same way.

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  3. I’ve found you today! Can’t believe we were born the SAME DAY (literally) I believe. Today (10th) is my 25th birthday as well. Happy birthday! We are still fucking young to care about when are we going to start changing diapers 😎 loved your site and seriously, you seem like a pretty cool woman (and I almost never say that). Keep going 😀

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  4. I’m turning 29 and believe me: when you see all of your friends getting married, your grey hairs growing like crazy and you are still studying, you think ” fucking shit, I need to get my hair dyed, light up this joint and drink one more glass because I still have half of my fockin life to live”.

    Enjoy one more year. 😉

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  5. I felt the same about a lot of things you said, when i turned 25 years I said it’s okay from now on everything will be all right.”It’s not always the case of course”, but at least you feel like you are not a child anymore but not yet an adult; in between.I feel more secure, calm, zen somehow.
    You are more accepting yourself asa human being. I feel like a woman but not yet a Lady 🙂

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