The “New year, new me” bullshit is dawning on us.
In the next couple of days, people will be realising that it’s coming to the end of December and it’s the time for a change.
Each year people feel the need to focus on changing all the things they’re not good at. For example – “I’ll go to the gym more, eat less chocolate and cut down my cigarette intake”. It’s strange because instead of focusing on the worst, why are we not focusing on what we’re brilliant at? You know like being a horrendous drunk, eating far too much cake and hating on all your co-workers.
I’m joking (sort of). But what would happen if we just said exactly how we felt and behaved exactly who we are?
Why should we feel the need to cover up our words or behave differently to what we know?
Now I’m not saying that I think it’s a good idea to scrap all your morals and be a nasty person. Because that would be ridiculous!
What I am saying is, why not be more honest with yourself and those around you?
There’s nothing better than being an open and honest person.
Because people appreciate those who are open and honest. People are more likely to trust and want to hear your opinion, if they know you’ll give them a meaningful answer. Even if it might be something that they don’t really want to hear. Everyone wants to and deserves to know the truth. And the first place to start, is by being honest with yourself!
So let’s put it in to practise….
you know that annoying person in the office who bitches about everyone at the water cooler? The gossip queen, that no one really likes but is too scared to tell her exactly how they feel, in fear she might spread an evil rumour about them? That girl!
Well perhaps in 2016, if you feel she hasn’t made a resolution to stop being such a bitch – pull her up on her behaviour.
Drop her an email (with HR bcc’d) to explain that her behaviour is upsetting you. Don’t ridicule her and whatever you do, don’t tell her everyone’s been speaking about her behind her back. Just make it clear that what she has said/did upset you and that you’d like to chat over coffee about it. I can guarantee Regina George (gossip queen), will be in for a total shock when she receives your email. But not because of your bravery but because she has no idea just how bad her work etiquette is.
Now most people reading this will think “I’d rather the quiet life” however the reality is you’ll actually be helping her.
So next time, when your colleagues are complaining about Regina George. Don’t be a two-faced sheep and join in with the rest of them. Do her and everyone a favour and tell her in a polite and reasonable manner, that you’d like nothing more than to sort out the issues that she obviously has with you or said colleague. Keep in mind that killing her with kindness is one of the best ways to deal with someone like this. If her behaviour continues, then consult management.
Here’s another piece of advice if you want to be more honest. When you find yourself at the tail end of someone (who isn’t your doctor) and who is telling you to lose weight, tone it down with the partying, or not do what you’ve always wanted to do with your life. Then tell them this:
Tell these people, that you appreciate their honesty and concern, but this is your life. And how you wish to live it, is what only matters.
Never ever tone yourself down, lose weight or change for anyone, unless of course you’re causing yourself or others, serious health and/or relationship issues.
Don’t be angry if you feel someone shouldn’t have said what they said. Appreciate their honesty and now appreciate yours. Even if you feel strongly against their opinion, never fight it. Just thank them, then turn on your heel and continue doing what you set out to do.
As humans, we work to please others, or we give off an illusion that our life is “perfect” because we believe that’s what people want to see.
Let’s be honest. You’re only kidding yourself! And why live lying to yourself let alone others?
If you don’t like something, say so. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t.
I’m an honest person and sometimes I upset people with what I say. Partly because I don’t think before I speak and the other part, because I genuinely think honesty is the best policy. If that makes me a bad person to some, then I’m sorry. Unfortunately to those people who are easily offended, I’m never going to tone down my words or my actions, because you don’t like it.
One thing I will say, is my openness allows people to know exactly where they stand with me or know how I feel about them. I won’t beat around the bush. I’ll always confront the situation. I’m not a nasty person. I’m just honest.
If you ask for the truth, you’ll get it. If you don’t ask for the truth, you might still get it.
This new year’s resolution, is not about change. It’s about working on the bits I’m good at. Drinking good wine, eating lots of cake and speaking my mind.
I hope you all have a happy new year xx