The Ex Factor: the science as to why we love to stalk our ex’s new girlfriend.

Any girl who says that they have never stalked their current boyfriend’s ex or their ex’s new partner on social media is a liar!!!!

The beauty of social platforms is that we can access information quickly and divulge into someone’s life without any repercussions what so ever. Unless of course you press the ‘like’ button by accident.

The idea of having the opportunity to find out more about your ex and his new girlfriend is an invitation that most of us can’t refuse.

According to a study 88% of 18-35 year olds stalk their ex’s new partner or their current partner’s ex. The research also found that Facebook stalking can be just as addictive as drink or drugs.
But why do we feel the need to know what someone else is up to?

We’ve all been there – you happen to stumble (more like search like a detective) your current boyfriend’s ex or maybe your ex’s new girlfriend’s Instagram page. Thankfully the wonderful victim has kept their profile open and you find yourself all over their page like you’re rummaging for gold. Analysing every selfie, hashtag and what they had for breakfast. You start to compare yourself to her: Is her nose bigger than mine? What about her figure? Do I dress better?  

Then your stalking goes to a wider audience – you invite your friends to have a laugh at the poor girl’s expense to make yourself feel a bit better. Think about it – how many times have you sent a screenshot and laughed at a girl with your friends on whatsapp? Or sat down together as a group and analysed someone’s profile? I bet you all smirked at her unflattering photo and roared with laughter at her ridiculous captions. I’m quite confident to write that I think most girls have thoroughly dissected someone over their social media like its an indoor sport.

The irony of social media stalking is that you begin to believe that you think you know them. Of course, all you know about them is what they want you and the world to see. Yet you instantly hate them because of their social media.

So why do we hate on the (ex or new) girlfriend?

Despite the majority of girls being all about ‘Girl Power’ these days, it seems that an exception is made for the woman who is currently touching or has experienced your man. The venomous thoughts and interest that you have for the (new or ex) girlfriend is purely a cave man instinct. Human behaviour expert and life coach Patrick Wanis claims that women are always in competition with their own sex. Women are always checking out other women, more than men do.

This is because the cave woman’s natural instinct was to breed, look after the babies and daddy, and fight anyone who dared to break-up their family. Which totally explains why we can get the green-eyed monster when we see our ex with someone new.

That’s mine. Is what we’ll subconsciously think – hopefully you don’t say that out loud because that would be awkward.

Despite a large amount of us stalking, I’m sure there are plenty of women who get on very well with their ex’s new partner. However if you sit in the large percentage of stalkers (quick delete your search history) and would rather not spend your lunch break looking at what she’s done over the weekend, then you’re in for a nice surprise. Scientists have discovered that these obsessions finally finish once you are fully over you ex or when you are content with yourself. So enjoy it whilst her profile isn’t private!

To finalise today’s blog, the next time you’re having a giggle or get a sweep of jealousy whilst looking at someone’s photos, just remember this girl is probably very similar to you. That’s right. That bitch who you can’t help but analyse is actually a really nice girl. I only know this because your ex boyfriend (who hopefully is nice) wouldn’t be dating her if she wasn’t. He dated you for a start! In fact you probably have a lot of similarities with her that even your ex shudders about. So be kind when you next have a stalk because your thoughts are purely a reflection of yourself.

2 thoughts on “The Ex Factor: the science as to why we love to stalk our ex’s new girlfriend.

  1. Nicely executed, instinctually read in another light initially. To be forced to a clear (refreshing) conclusion makes it an enlightening read.


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