We’ve all been there. That one female who can’t help but hover around you and your boyfriend waiting for the day that your relationship ends and they can feed off your man.
Do I sound paranoid? I hope not. I think a lot of girls have experienced the female vulture. The one who sits in the wings waiting to make their attack. You definitely know the one. That girl who you have always been suspicious of. The girl who was always way too friendly with your man for your liking. That girl who makes it very obvious that she doesn’t like you but definitely has a keen interest for your man.
The vulture is man-hungry and willing to rip you to pieces but leave only your eyes so that you can witness her feasting on your man. Is that overly dramatic?
The vulture normally rears her head after you’ve split up from your boyfriend and uses her every power to snatch your newly single man. In defence of all my exes, it’s very rare that they even hook up with the vulture. Because no matter how flattering your man may find this painstakingly obsessed nutter to be. They’re still a nutter.
It pains me when I see a female dissing sisterhood. Why would any woman feel that’s it ok to make another girl uncomfortable? And what is it with vultures following your boyfriend’s social media accounts? What’s with all the ‘likes’? Why not follow me? I’m far more interesting. We probably have similar interests too and I don’t mean just fancying the same man!
Vultures are so annoying, that you wish you could just wave a wand and change them from a carnivorous beast to a flamingo instead.
Another irritating thing about vultures is that you can’t express your views to your boyfriend because you look like a crazy psychopath.
“Who, Melissa? No she’s lovely – what do you mean?”
No. Melissa is not lovely. She is caressing your ego whilst smirking at me.
I suppose there isn’t a lot you can do about the vultures. I guess if you don’t trust your man then ditch him. But if you do trust him, then there’s nothing really to worry about.
I get that it’s not nice to be ridiculed by another female or to be left feeling disheartened. I mean what did happen to girl power? But at the end of the day you’ve gotta feel sorry for the vultures. It can’t be that nice to be so blood-thirsty.
So here are a few steps you can make to reduce vulture behaviour and to rekindle that girl power…
1. Befriend her
Vultures are lonely and insecure birds. They just want your life and (your man). This should be a huge compliment to you. So ease the pain for both of you and just be nice. Who knows she might even feel guilty about hitting on your man!
2. Confront her
If being nice hasn’t reduced the vulture’s behaviour and she’s still acting like a little hussy, ask her out right if you’ve done something to upset her. Of course do it with class and don’t shout or ask her aggressively. 9 times out of 10 she’ll be mortified that you have even asked this question and it might shake her up a bit and make her realise her behaviour. It could also eradicate any doubts you have if she gives you an honest answer. Who knows – she might even fancy you!
3. Take a chill pill
It’s ok for girls to flirt with your man. He’s good looking and lovely. If he wasn’t then you wouldn’t be with him. So what if she wants to drape her arms all over him? Smile and laugh it off. You know you’re way hotter and that he’s coming home with you at the end of the night.
4. Don’t have a go at your man unless he really is an arse.
Men love attention – there’s no getting away from that. Don’t deny that you don’t enjoy a light flirtation every now and again too! Unless your man has made overly flirtatious advances with the vulture, I wouldn’t worry about it. If you believe he is leading the vulture on, then tell him that you feel uncomfortable or even better, leave him if he genuinely is an arse. A boy makes his lady jealous, a man makes other females jealous of his lady.